Check this out for a laugh or two, actually, hundreds now! - The Combine Forum

 802Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 1276 (permalink) Old 02-26-2013, 06:58 PM Thread Starter
HI!
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Three Hills/Trochu, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,256
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Quoted: 3079 Post(s)
Check this out for a laugh or two, actually, hundreds now!

MARIJUANA FILLED FIREWOOD IN NEWFOUNDLAND

'Hello, is this the Police Office?'
'Yes. What can I do for you?'
'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Jack Murphy.

He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood!

Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there..'
'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'
The next day, twelve St Johns Police Officers descend on Jack's house.

They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
They sneer at Jack and leave..
Shortly, the phone rings at Jack's house.
'Hey, Jack! This here's Floyd....Did the Police come?'
'Yeah!'
'Did they chop your firewood?'
'Yep!'
'Happy Birthday, buddy!'
(Newfies know how to get'er done)


Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it'll will always get you the right ones.
Don Boles is online now  
post #2 of 1276 (permalink) Old 02-26-2013, 08:14 PM
Administrator
 
Alex Ryan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Colby, KS
Posts: 723
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
This is great


"...Kansas wheat field farmer, let me thank you for your time, you work 40 hours a week for a living, just to send it on down the line.."
Alex Ryan is offline  
post #3 of 1276 (permalink) Old 02-26-2013, 08:16 PM
mikey350
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Quoted: Post(s)
hahaha good one! we need a like button on the forum haha think it will work for picking rocks too?
post #4 of 1276 (permalink) Old 02-26-2013, 10:35 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 332
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Very good.
ih4life is offline  
post #5 of 1276 (permalink) Old 02-26-2013, 10:41 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Weyburn, Saskatchewan
Posts: 70
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
That's a good one Don - funny thing is if you have ever been to Newfoundland you might beleive it to be a true story! They are some of the most welcoming and hilarious people I have ever met!
mack3393 is offline  
post #6 of 1276 (permalink) Old 02-28-2013, 09:06 PM Thread Starter
HI!
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Three Hills/Trochu, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,256
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Quoted: 3079 Post(s)
lady went into the
pharmacy, walked up to
the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and
said, I would like
to buy some cyanide. '

The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need
cyanide?'

The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed,
'Lord have mercy! I
can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's
against the law!
I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail!
All kinds of
bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT
have any cyanide!'

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a
picture of her husband
in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,
'You didn't tell me
you had a prescription.'


D37 and Matthew Tolton like this.

Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it'll will always get you the right ones.
Don Boles is online now  
post #7 of 1276 (permalink) Old 02-28-2013, 09:17 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Red River Valley MB
Posts: 297
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 28 Post(s)
A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He bought a nice, used chicken farm and moved in. As it turned out, his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn’t easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I’ll give you 100 chickens."
The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later the neighbor dropped by to see how things were going. The new farmer said, "Not too well. All 100 chickens died." The neighbor said, "Oh, I can’t believe that. I’ve never had any trouble with my chickens. I’ll give you 100 more." Another two weeks went by and the neighbor stopped by again. The new farmer said, "You’re not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too." Astounded, the neighbor asked, "What went wrong?"
The new farmer said, "Well, I’m not sure whether I’m planting them too deep or too close together."
Valley Farmer is online now  
post #8 of 1276 (permalink) Old 02-28-2013, 09:38 PM
Senior Member
 
Fena farms's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 54 Post(s)
Ray is Gay. He goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.


The doctor comes back and says, ' Ray, I'm not going to beat around the bush.

You have AIDS.'

Ray is devastated. 'Doc, what can I do?'
'Eat curry, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, walnuts peanuts,1/2 box of All Bran, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice'.

Ray asks bewildered, ' Will that cure me, Doc?' Doc says, 'No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for'.
Fena farms is offline  
post #9 of 1276 (permalink) Old 02-28-2013, 09:39 PM
Senior Member
 
Fena farms's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 54 Post(s)
A Somali arrives in Vancouver as a new immigrant to Canada . He stops
the first person he sees walking down the street and says ... 'Thank you
Mr. Canadian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money
for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'

The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.'

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. ' Thank you for having
such a beautiful country here in Canada !'
The person says, 'I not Canadian, I Vietnamese.'
Fena farms is offline  
post #10 of 1276 (permalink) Old 02-28-2013, 09:43 PM
Senior Member
 
hoyle63's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: WC Sask.
Posts: 200
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom he needs Viagra. The mom asks, "Why on earth do you need that ?" The little boy replies, "Isn't that what you give dad when HIS **** won't get hard ?"

hoyle63 is online now  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Combine Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome