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A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."
"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree.
He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
 

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Some time ago there was an old Native American who wanted a loan for $500.
The banker pulled out the loan application, "What are you going to do with the money?"
"Take jewelry to city and sell it," was his response.
"What have you got for collateral?"
"Don't know collateral."
"Well that's something of value that would cover the loan if you don?t repay it. Have you got any vehicles?"
"Yes, a 1949 Chevy pickup."
The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"
"Yes, I have a horse."
"How old is it?"
"Don't know, has no teeth."
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here to pay." he said. He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off.
"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?" the banker asked.
"Put in tepee."
"Why don't you deposit it in my bank," he asked.
"Don't know deposit."
"You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it."
The old Indian leaned across the desk, "What you got for collateral?"
 

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A cowboy rides into a town and see's they’re building a gallows.
He sees a guy tying up his horse in front of the saloon and calls, "Hey, are you folks gonna hang someone?"
The guy nods. "Yup. We're fixin' to hang Brown Paper Larry."
The cowboy's brow furrows. "How come he's called Brown Paper Larry?"
"Well," says the guy, "the man always wears clothes made of brown paper. Brown paper shirts. Brown paper pants. Even brown paper socks."
The cowboy ponders this for a moment, then asks, "What are ya hangin' him for?"
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"Rustlin’’
 

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Mother Nature got a new boyfriend.His name is Winter. He must be pretty young. He came early last night.
 

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Cowboy goes to doctor, complaining about two coloured rings off stuff on his Willy.
Doctor gets his scalpel and scrapes a sliver off the red ring and puts it in bottle .
Then does the same with the brown ring .
Tells cowboy to come back next week for results.
Next week cowboy walks in office , and doctor what’s you know ?
Well I got good news and not so good .......
What’s the good news doc ?
Well the red stuff appears to be lipstick ��
And the brown stuff is kopenhagen ...........
 

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Cowboy goes to doctor, complaining about two coloured rings off stuff on his Willy.
Doctor gets his scalpel and scrapes a sliver off the red ring and puts it in bottle .
Then does the same with the brown ring .
Tells cowboy to come back next week for results.
Next week cowboy walks in office , and doctor what’s you know ?
Well I got good news and not so good .......
What’s the good news doc ?
Well the red stuff appears to be lipstick ��
And the brown stuff is kopenhagen ...........
LOL


When I went to College there was a very pretty girl who chewed Copenhagen snuff.
 
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